He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
