Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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