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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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