just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize