mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
