you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize