I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
