Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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