I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
