puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
