Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
