If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize