he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
