And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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