Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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