Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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