I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I need water and some morals
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize