I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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