pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
