Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
