It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize