and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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