We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
