So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
