Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
