The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
