im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
