I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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