sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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