If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
