Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
