Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
