I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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