I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
