I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sobbing to NWA
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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