just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You made out with two different species that night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize