How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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