you win again, gameday.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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