the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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