i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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