Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
