Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
