Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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