I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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