He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
