Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
whose parrot is this?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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