CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
