In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
