You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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