first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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