I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
