I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
