i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
