it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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