My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
