haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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