i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
