get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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