he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
