apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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